When Your Partner Has Premature Ejaculation

Sometimes premature ejaculation is a topic to be made fun of in comedies, in groups or live comedic shows. But the truth is that premature ejaculation isn't anything to be made fun of, and it can be very embarrassing and frustrating for both partners.

What Is Premature Ejaculation?

This happens when the man has an orgasm and ejaculates sooner than he or his partner want. It can happen shortly after penetration or during foreplay.

Premature ejaculation causes the man to lose his erection so that he no longer has the ability to continue with sexual intercourse.

The man experiencing it may feel embarrassed, but this problem is common. Between 30 to 40 percent of men have this problem at one point in their lives, according to some statistics. The Mayo Clinic says that as many as one out of three men may experience premature ejaculation at some point during their lives.

It is rarely a sign of a serious problem. Very occasionally premature ejaculation may be caused by trauma to the male genitals or nervous system damage from surgery.

Possible Causes

There isn't always a specific reason why a man has an orgasm sooner than he or his partner would like. Sometimes it could simply mean that the man has become too stimulated or excited and can't contain himself any longer. Other times it's just a case of the man having a highly sensitive penis.

There are sometimes psychological reasons why a man may lose his erection too soon due to a premature orgasm. Relationship problems can cause this to happen as well as feelings of guilt or an anxiety about performance. Some men experience premature ejaculation if they're nervous or feeling stressed or beginning a sexual relationship with a new partner. Stress can also cause this problem.

Some studies suggest there may be a physical connection to repeated premature ejaculation. Low levels of a chemical in the brain called serotonin have been connected to an inability to maintain an erection because of premature orgasms.

What You Can Do About It

It's important to be supportive if your partner suffers from premature ejaculation. He's probably embarrassed about it and you'll make his anxiety levels worse if you unintentionally or intentionally make him feel less of a man because of it.

Encourage him to communicate with you. Assure him that there are steps you can take to reduce the chance of him having a rapid orgasm. He just needs to let you know when he feels that he's about to orgasm.

Begin with practicing what's called the start-and-stop method. Pick a time when you're both relaxed and not feeling pressured. During these practice sessions, don't expect your partner to sexually stimulate you or try to have sexual intercourse. This can put unnecessary pressure on him.

Start by stimulating your partner's penis until he feels like he's about to have an orgasm. It's crucial that he communicates with you. Stop the stimulation for 30 seconds to a minute to allow him to regain control. Then begin stimulation again. Do this about four times, or more if your partner can handle it, before orgasm.

During foreplay or intercourse, you can try squeezing the head of your partner's penis for 30 seconds when he feels he's about to have an orgasm. Once again, communication is crucial so try your best to help him feel free to let you know when he feels an orgasm coming.

Squeezing the penis head gently often causes the man to begin to lose his erection which reduces the chance of him ejaculating.

If these techniques aren't helping, then there may be underlying psychological problems that need to be addressed. Encourage your partner to participate in couple's counseling to help work through any relationship problems.

Medical treatments, like anesthetic creams, can also be an option. You can make the cream application part of pre-sex anticipation by applying it to your partner's penis 30 minutes before sex. It needs to be washed off so that you don't experience vaginal numbness. Make the washing fun by having a shower together.


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