If you’re leery about having postpartum sex, you’re not alone. Most women have fears about resuming their sex lives after delivering a baby. Perhaps the main thing to understand is that your body has changed, so it is natural that sex too will change and be a different experience. Here follows some tips and tricks for easing your way back into your love life.
Deep Breaths
* Take your time. Your partner may be anxious to make love, but he will need to take a deep breath and be patient. You mustn’t have sex until you are ready in both body and mind. Otherwise, you may do irreparable damage to your relationship.
*Be creative. Perhaps you can try taking a bath or shower together. This will inject some fun and excitement into your love life, making it new and irresistible.
*Use contraception. Don’t count on nursing or just having delivered as factors that can protect you against another pregnancy. Don’t look back with regret because you took a risk.
Alone Time
*Schedule “alone time” with no sexual strings attached. You may not feel like being close to another human being after you’ve been with your baby all day and sometimes all night, but make the time to snuggle with your partner. The thing is, he’s left out of all this physical closeness and he’s hurting. Spending time together just being warm and cuddly can help breathe life back into your relationship while you’re waiting on the okay from your doctor to resume relations.
*Talk to him about what it feels like to be the mother of a new baby and listen to him talk about how his life has changed since the birth, too.
*In assessing the value of property, there are three things to know: location, location, location. In postpartum sex, there’s a different three: lubrication, lubrication, lubrication. Your hormones are in flux, estrogen levels have dropped and it’s common to experience vaginal dryness as result. Breastfeeding is going to suppress your estrogen levels until up to six months after you wean your baby. If you’re on the pill, you may experience a similar reduction of vaginal secretions. In this case, your doctor may be able to switch you to a different type of pill or you can try a different form of contraception.
Fearing Pain
*Keep the lines of communication open between you and your partner. You may be afraid that making love will cause pain. Tell your partner what you’re feeling. Otherwise, he may come to believe that your avoidance of him is about something he’s done, or about a change in the loving feelings you share. Let him know what you’re thinking so he won’t take your lack of desire for sex as something personal—something about him.
