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Look, People need private time. If you have lived your life with people all around you constantly, there will be some point where you get fed up and say, "I need Private time." This is normal. Im a man, Im surrounded by people at work all day and I love my family. But sometimes, I disappear into my room, lock the door, kick on some candles and unwind all by myself to jazz music in the dark. Im there when they really need me, but I need my space. If they don't like it, they can go pound sand.

Quick quiz. Are you there when they REALLY need you? I dont mean, handing them the toilet paper, or making someone a sandwich. I mean when they really really need you. If the answers yes, then you dont need to feel guilty. Let them make their own dam sandwich and fetch their own dam toilet paper. Their arms aren't broken. Disappear in your bedroom and rest easy. Your fine

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hi,

I've just posted a question today too (I'm post-menopausal as well) and I saw your question. I can really relate to your wanting to scream "leave me alone!" And fear of loneliness is very normal. Can you manage to come up with a regular time each day to give your self some time alone?

You didn't really ask a question in your post. I recognize a caring person though, and wanting solitude is a very healthy thing, I think. I don't know how old your family is or how much you need to be there but maybe you could look for a retreat of some sort. For example, I went on a meditation course that lasted 10 days. No talking, all meals made and there is no charge, you make a donation if you are able to at the end of it. It's not for everyone though, but it sure is a chance to experience solitude in a supportive environment.

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