hey i'm just a 20 year old girl. i like with my folk , i attent colledge
my period isn't perfectly constant
i tried to follow it someotimes but it's never the exact number of days at which it would come. sometimes it my period would last 7 days, sometimes about 5.
Sometimes the cycle would be 4 and half weeks long, other times 5.
i am pretty sentitive during the cycle, so i can "feel" the stages. Starting from the middle of the cycle: i tend to get irritated easily, or emotionally unbalenced. My apettite grows giving me some sort of constant "munchies". I bloat up, my breast hurt either just by themselves or when squeezed (not all the time). My skin gets oily and i have a lot of spots and accneea(i think it's beause i retain water and that i don't eliminate all the toxines as the body tried to prepare the nurture for a possible zigot).
In the end i am beeing freed by my period. the besttime i feel right after my period end and before my ovulation starts.
But now i'm kinda scared. I kinda feel it's been a week late. I still hope it will come soon... i'll get evern more worried if it won't be her by sunday.
i am starting to think of what if i am pregnant?
what if it's just the stress that's getting to me?
i want to take a test. Is it too early? I don't want to wait anymore!
I'm scared of the result. What if i do have an early pregnancy?
I am just a child at mind. I can't grow a baby of my own yet.
I have to finish school have a job and get married. Not like this!
I can't wait for it to grow more but i am also scared of the abortion.
I researched a bit of the risks of the pains both emotionally and phisically.
I know i will be tormented for life... but i really really don't want to wait till i see the embyo in a baby shape. i want it out while it's still a undefined ball. this way i would be more content thinking that i didn't get to look human at least.
I don't loath it... i want to have kids,lots of them! But i'm not ready now...
I know it's my fault, it's my mistakes but... Oh god i just hope my period is late because of the stress. I wish i could find out right now which one is it!