low sex drive
51 Replies


A website is a good idea



SmartGirly- please let me know if you do reach out to other women on this issue. I'd be glad to be any help too.



I'm so glad I found you ladies on this website. I'm 24 and in a wonderful, committed relationship but, recently this issue has come up in a big way. My partner and I have been getting into pretty serious arguments lately about a noticeable lack of desire on my part, and I feel helpless. I had heard about all of this concerning birth control and its affect on mood, weight, and desire but never before has it been so relevant in my life. I have been on NuvaRing for about 6 years and, after reading all of your posts, I decided that I'm going to go off of birth control. I've been trying to get my health in check for a number of years and hope that this can just be another addition to those things. Thank you for sharing your stories and I look forward to joining this thread of discussion.



I am so glad I found this! I went off birth control maybe 9 months ago (after a break up) and my sex drive returned full force. I just started dating someone recently and went back on BC and we've started to get intimate and I can't get wet and sometimes just don't want to be close with him, it's embarrassing and uncomfortable! This is the beginning of our relationship, we shouldn't be taking our hands off of each other! I didn't put two and two together until I started Googling side effects of BC and found this forum! I can't believe our doctors don't mention this!



Idk anything about anti-depressants, but I do know that if you're experiencing low sex drive, you should go back and read this whole discussion. I've had my paragard about 6 weeks now, and my body is still going through changes from being off hormones. I haven't had kids either, and the only associated pregnancy risk of the paragard I know of is ectopic pregnancy, however, there is only a .6 percent chance for pregnancy all together, so I don't see any problem. Also, you can get pregnant the same day you have it removed; there is no lag time for your body to "get back to normal" or anything like that.



Thank you all for your posts. I am 24 and I have had a low sex drive for about a year. I have been on birth control (yasmin, ocella) for three years. I used to have cramps that would make me pass out and end up in the ER, so my doctor recommended birth control and I haven't had cramps since! From your posts I see that the low sex drive is definately from the birth control. I am going to the women's clinic tomorrow.



I can't beleive i've only just found this post, I've been on the pill for the last 12 years and over the last 4 or 5 i have had a really low sex drive, which frequently causes arguments with my long term boyfriend. I can't beleive this is so common. I hope you're still reading this thread, to those of you who switched your method of birth control has it had any impact? I've been considering the IUC but this is still a hormone treatment, but i didn't fancy painful heavy periods again on the IUD, and i like the idea of little or no periods on the IUC. If its not going to improve my libido then I'm not so sure. What do you recommend?



After quitting the pill about three months ago my sex drive is back, but I still have dryness. I was only on the pill for about 2 yrs. Also, the yeast infection I got while on the pill still hasn't gone away and I've tried just about everything, my doctor gave prescribed me diflucan to take every month for a year, but I hope it doesn't take that long to get rid of. I have the infection since November.



When I was 23 I was still a virgin and I met a man I wanted to become sexually active with. So I went to the doctor to get put on the pill. The sex was fine. Then just under three years later my blood pressure was very high so the OB/GYN ordered me off the pill. And I started taking methyldopa to lower my blood pressure. I also started taking a multivitamin and exercising more. From what I understood about the pill I could expect my periods to return to normal within 8 weeks.

Well I've been off of the pill for 8 months and my body still isn't normal. I have had spotting here and there. Sometimes I was spotting for a few days as if my uterus were trying to resume my pre-birth control cycle, but it hasn't.

Also after getting off the pill my fiance said that my libido has gone way down and we had to start using lube all the time because I can get wet during foreplay, but I can't maintain the wetness for the entire sex. And sometimes it feels as if the latex condom soaks up all moisture, both mine and the lube. My fiance wants me to get back on the pill in the hopes my sex drive returns and we can go bareback again, but I don't want to because I feel like my body's hormones are messed up. I don't want to mess with them again and have explained this to him. Also in April I went back to the ob/gyn and she did a pap smear and a couple tests which all came back negative. She thinks that since my body does show signs of ovulation (clear, gooey secretions from the vagina) that I shouldn't worry about it.

I guess the real question is my sex drive was fine on the pill, it's low after getting off the pill, and I feel like my doctors aren't very helpful, so what should I do?

(I skimmed through these posts and saw the mention of the natural remedy for libido. I guess the real thing is just I'm feeling very alone with unhelpful doctors and sometimes having unprotected sex sounds like a good idea, but we cannot afford a baby right now and I don't want to risk it.)



Also know for the women on here....keep in mind the difference between men and women when it comes to sex drive.

First off....women in general reach our sexual peak in our thirties. Unfair right? Why do I want to wait until I am that "old" with a life and kids and job to reach the point when I am horniest? But that is nature. While it sounds like we should be horniest in our college days or soon after, naturally this is not the case even though socially that is what is expected.

I too have been having issues with sex drive. I used to love sex, have it all the time, go out and be adventurous, and then....nothing. Don't feel like it, don't want to be bothered, it is low on my priority list etc, and let me tell you the fiance is not happy.

However, the problem is not him, nor do I believe it is the birth control Mirean, since I was on that when I was loving sex. This comes to my other tidbit of news from the collection of things that mother nature likes to have fun messing with. Men and woman are different. Big shocker I know :P Here is how we are different on the sex level though. When men are forced to go a long time without sex, they want it more and more until they get it to make up for the lost time that they could not have it. When women however are forced to go without sex, the less we want it and the lower it becomes on our agenda list, regardless of our mental want for sex, the biological want/horniness/sex drive is no longer there or as high as it was.

This, I believe was my problem, since I was forced without sex for 9 months while deployed to Iraq. No matter the mental part of my brain that missed sex, and could not wait to make love to my fiance, In the ensuing weeks, my sex drive was nonexistent and I almost had to force myself to have sex when I didn't want it, to make him happy and to try to get out of that rut.



may i ask something??is there any chance to get preggy when i use withdrawal method?? coz i already have sex with my 16 year old girlfriend and it is 2 weeks from and im realy scared coz im not ready yet and the bad news is we are legal in our relationship her parents does not even know that i am her boyfriend although they know me well...and they will gonna kills us both if she got pregnant..can you give me some advice about the method i used and is there a chance for her to get preggy???i dont want her to be preggy coz she is just 5'1 and im just 19 year old we cant live together...please help me...tnx



may i ask something??is there any chance to get preggy when i use withdrawal method?? coz i already have sex with my 16 year old girlfriend and it is 2 weeks from now and im realy scared coz im not ready yet and the bad news is we are not legal in our relationship her parents does not even know that i am her boyfriend although they know me well...and they will gonna kills us both if she got pregnant..can you give me some advice about the method i used and is there a chance for her to get preggy???i dont want her to be preggy coz she is too young to get preggy and im just 19 year old we cant live together i cant sustain my obligation to be a father for her..is any contraceptives for anti pregnancy??...please help me...tnx



after reading your post, I'd say the best thing to do right now is have your girlfriend take a pregnancy test. You can get one at Walgreens or somewhere like that or take one at a clinic like Planned Parenthood. Although at home pregnancy tests are not always 100% accurate, it will put your mind at ease.

also, just because she's late on her period doesn't mean she's pregnant. It can mean that, but it might also be a change in hormones.

after i've said all that, I have to tell you that you should consider changing your method of 'birth control'. I know that websites, etc list the withdrawal method as effective, but it just isn't. End of story. Even if you don't ejaculate, there's sperm in 'precum' that can, theoretically, still enter the vagina. I understand that if you're young and doing all of this "under the radar" you sometimes can't get birth control, but condoms are not that expensive (way less expensive than a baby), and paired with spermicide, they're just about 100% effective when used correctly.

I truly wish you all the best, we've all been in that scary situation and I hope everything works out okay for you and your girl.



May81 (in response to Em1982) - I believe what you're saying about all hormonal contraceptives causing this problem, but has anyone ever experienced an increase in sex drive after switching from one BC to another? I'm 26 and have been on Ortho Tri-Cyclen for 8 years and have been experiencing a steady decrease in my sex drive over the past 5 years. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and am still VERY attracted to him, but it's like no matter what the circumstances or how relaxed and stress-free I'm feeling, I just never get the urge to have sex anymore. I don't want to go off the pill all together, I very much like having the freedom to have sex without getting pregnant or worry about fastening a condom in place while trying to remain "sexy"(though "freedom" is different from "desire" I guess). Plus, my periods are very regular, I'm happy with my cup size, and I've experienced no other negative side effects in 8 years. Has anyone gone from reg. Ortho to Ortho-Lo and experienced any gains? Or any other form of the pill? It's so ironic that once we decide to facilitate pregnancy-free sex, we lose our sex drive!



Hi everyone. Hopefully you're all still checking in here. I'm 32 years old and have been on the pill for almost all of my reproductive life. I was a late bloomer (age 15) and started taking the pill when I became sexually active (just before age 18). As a teenager, I was very curious about sex and masturbated all the time. When I started having sex, I immediately got on the pill and have had 14 years of disappointing sex and no sex drive. Even when we do have sex, I feel like something is missing. I feel pressure and sometimes pain, but very rarely do I feel what I assume you're supposed to feel, which is pleasure and arousal. It's been a huge problem in every relationship I've ever had. I always worried about the fertility issues associated with being on the pill for 14+ years, but never really considered it could be to blame for my non-existant sex drive and lack of sensation during sex. My fiance and I are hoping to start a family after our wedding next year, but I wonder if I should wait until then to get off the pill. Part of me wants to just never take it again as of today. I checked out this forum because the acupuncturist I saw today said that could be why my libido is so low. It was like a light bulb went on! It only stands to reason that hormones that cause you not to ovulate and changes the consistency in your vaginal discharge, etc... could also affect your sexual response. Think about it... Your sexual desire is your body's way of encouraging you to procreate. If your baby factory is shut down, it makes sense that the urges and desires would shut down too. But if that is true, then it also stands to reason that with enough time to allow your body to get back on track naturally, your desires would return as well. But that part might take longer because you're used to not feeling that way. If you're used to tuning out during sex, then you might have to re-train your body and mind to stay present during sex and become aware of your own responses again. That part might have a mental element once everything is functioning normally again.

I also wanted to address what the girl with the yeast infection (Liz, I think?) asked about. Like I said, I'm 32 years old. I've had a number of sexual partners and exactly one period of time in my life where I suffered from chronic yeast infections. I told my doctor that I was afraid that I was "allergic" to my partner and she swore up and down that was not possible. But every single time we had unprotected sex during our 2 or 2 1/2 year relationship, I would get a yeast infection. LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE TIME. I think I had one infection before that partner and once since. And hundreds during the time I was with him. Since that time, I have read articles and seen research indicating that you can have that reaction to some men's ejaculate. I'm convinced that is what it was for me and maybe it is for you too. Food for thought. Good luck everyone!



Hi everyone. I also just found this article... w w w . medical news today dot com forward slash articles forward slash 35663 dot php



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