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Dear Lostinchi,

I had a very similar experience with you in past. My exboyfriend never told me he had herpes until I found a medication in his bag. This was well over a year of being together. I was heart brokend and I could never trust him since then.
I thought the same thing you did, that no one will want to be with me since I have herpes. I felt dirty. But after I broke up with my boyfriend, I dated about three men after that. I was always upfront and honest with them before we got sexually involved. They appreciated the fact that I was honest with them and the fact that I have herpes didn't change the way they looked at me or how much they liked me. Actually, all three of them respected me more for being honest with them.
So please don't feel so bad that you contracted herpes. Many nurses and doctors I talked to also told me that herpes are more common than people think. A lot of people have it.
Stay strong.

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Hi,
I've just been diagnosed myself with herpes & it's doing my head in too. I've having a hard time physically, mentally & emotionally. If you need someone to talk to I'm here cos I sure as hell could do with someone to talk to myself. I also feel very alone. And who the hell do you trust telling them something like this???
hugs
Kerry

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I understand where you are coming from completely! I recently found out that I have genital herpes, after having 2 children (2 diff. dads) and only having been with 2 different men in the last 5 years - it was a huge shock to me. I was promiscuous to say the least in my younger years, so I feel like this is all my fault. I feel dirty and ashamed. My partner was livid when he found out and he automatically thought it was my fault as well. He decided not to get tested, he said if I was positive and he wasn't he would have left me that day. But he loves me too much, so he'd rather not know where it came from and just deal with it together. Though we've made the decision to deal with it together, we don't ever talk about it. No one knows that I'm positive for herpes, and it's very hard to live with emotionally. Though I don't want to find any one else, I feel like I'm 'damaged goods' and how could any one love me? And now, I'm having my 2nd outbreak now and it causes much tension in our relationship. We don't talk about it but we're obviously not having sex. It feels good just to talk about this, so I hope someone is out there reading! I appreciate your stories. It really makes me feel like I'm not alone. I don't know where I got this... but since I'm stuck with it for life I should try to deal with it in a positive way. It's just hard.

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