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there is really no way to diagnose you over the internet, so i would recommend going to a doctor or health clinic (many are free for STD testing) and they could be of more help.
it could be that menstruating effects your wife's vaginal secretions and they are irritating your penis. if it only happens during her period that would make a bit of sense.
as for the discharge, while it could be a problem, if there are no symptoms like burning or itching or a smell, then it is probably normal. vagina's are finicky and they have a lot of discharge sometimes, especially during sex. but again, if you're worried, i really would suggest you both get to a doctor!
good luck!
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