Difficulty Having Orgasm
Men tend to have orgasms much more easily than women. Unfortunately, the way women's orgasms are portrayed in romance books, adult films and even regular television and movies gives the impression that this isn't the case and that all women are highly and easily orgasmic.
This can cause a great deal of stress for women who don't climax easily or don't climax at all.
They compare themselves to men who tend to have automatic orgasms. But the truth about women is that they need to learn how to have an orgasm. Studies have shown that some sexually active women actually don't have their first orgasm until well into their 40s.
How Do Women Orgasm?
A study conducted by Britain's NetDoctor, an online medical resource written by more than 250 of Europe's leading health professionals and monitored by a medical panel, provides some interesting information about women's orgasms.
· 32 percent of women can climax through sexual intercourse alone
· 47 percent of women need direct stimulation to climax like masturbation
· 1 percent of women can have an orgasm during sleep without any direct stimulation
· 20 percent of woman can climax through hand or mouth stimulation of breasts or sexual organs. This is referred to as petting and isn't the same as oral sex
Women who do orgasm need on average 20 minutes of arousal and stimulation according to Dr. Gail Saltz, a leading psychiatrist who specializes in mental health, sex and relationship issues.
She says that most women require some sort of clitoral stimulation to climax. Those who claim they can have orgasms through sex alone tend to receive clitoral stimulation through rubbing from their partner's body, even if they aren't aware of it.
When the Difficulty Starts
It's common for young women, those in their 20s and even their 30s, to have a hard time reaching orgasm. The ability to reach orgasm has nothing to do with a woman's age and the natural breakdown of the body every person experiences as they get older.
Past the 30s, many studies show that women tend to be able to reach orgasm easier. There's no definite medical reason for this. But some sex therapists say it has a lot to do with experience and whether or not the woman is with a loving and understanding partner.
Menstruation Cycles and Orgasms
Medical experts have determined that there's a connection between a woman's period cycle and her ability to achieve an orgasm.
Most women tend to find it easier to have an orgasm half-way through their menstrual cycles. Generally, the stage a woman is during her menstrual cycle will impact her sexual desire and her overall ability to have an orgasm.
There will be times in a cycle when a woman doesn't want to have sex. Others may find it easier to reach orgasm just before a period. Doctors say these variations in sexual desire in relationship to the period cycle are normal.
What You Can Do
The first step you can take to fixing a problem with achieving orgasms is to get to know your body. Dr. Saltz says few women take the time to examine their own genitals and understand them.
Try various masturbating techniques to find out what works for you. Once you know what you like and what will make you reach orgasm, you can communicate your needs to your partner.
During intercourse, don't put pressure on yourself to have an orgasm. Sometimes the anxiety of "performing" can make it harder to have one.
To increase the likelihood of climaxing, take your time. Encourage your partner to spend time touching you and caressing you. Don't be afraid to use a vibrator. And don't be too proud to let your partner know what you would like. Men generally want to please their partners and need some direction on how to do that.